Bytes By Bhavin Random Words From The Factory Of My Thoughts!


>What is this chaos all about?

>Ok. So by now, most of us have so many issues in our lives for what is happening around us. We are fighting in our compound for parking spaces. We are fighting with our parents for not fulfilling silly demands. We are fighting with our employers or employees for not achieving desired results. We are fighting with our spouses for same old crap reasons like bad dressing, choiceless food, arguments with elders, etc. etc. We are fighting. We are fighting. And everything that we are doing is all related to fighting.

Forget about decreasing the number of reasons of fighting, the figure isn't stable at all. These bloody 'reasons' don't have stability at all. As if we had lesser reasons that now we are fighting for other reasons like fighting with neighbouring countries for a piece of land. Slaughtering the goodwill of filmstars for their statements. Holding demonstrations for reasons that are baseless. Playing mudslinging matches with each other like politicians to prove that we have balls in our bodies to (mis)rule our country. Misinterpreting the meanings of freedom of speech, freedom of thought and freedom of press.

Today, it is not Bhavin Shah, who's writing this statement. It is me, the common man highlighting the issues that I am facing because of tug-of-war played by the people who are governing my area, city, state and country. It is I, the Indian, who is actually trying to put down my grievances on this post.

My history and geography teachers have been teaching me about India ever since I was a kid. My civics and economics teachers taught me about my rights and making optimum utilisation of those rights and resources. But now I find that those teachers made a fool out of me. They taught me all crap, all wrong things. And that is the reason why I am suffering till this date. My teachers taught me about Gods like Mahaveer and Buddha who preached about peace. My teachers taught me about greats like Gandhi who chased Britishers out of the country through non-violence and satyagrahas. My teachers taught me about Ambedkar who wrote the constitution and making me, the common man realise about my rights and duties. My teachers taught me about Kashmir, Taj Mahal and glorious things about rest of the states that made me feel proud to be an Indian. My teachers taught me about how every problem (may it be related to area disputes, inflation, deflation) has a solution that needs to be carefully assessed before being implemented. The only thing they failed to teach me is a sour fact that the real world is different than the one that I learnt in theory. Let me get you across the problems that I am facing:

1. Politicians are given more security than me, the common man, inspite of the fact that it is me who has chosen them.

2. I am facing day-to-day problems while commuting, may it be by trains or by roads due to various reasons like megablocks, traffic jams, bad conditions of roads, ongoing constructions.

3. I am unable to provide basic necessities of life to my family because of over escalation of prices.

4. My future generations are unable to get qualitative education because of the 'donations' asked by education institutions of my choice.

5. I am not provided good entertainment because of the ongoing wars between national icons and national thugs (read: worst politicians. I believe not all politicians are bad. Some are worst too.)

6. My practical life and the one which I learnt in theory is exact the opposite.

7. As if I could live peacefully, I am not even allowed to die because attempt to suicide attracts jail and mercy killing is a crime according to the Indian Law.

8. I can't walk safely on roads because of drunk drivers.

9. I have to live without water and electricity supply because most of my share goes to the politico bigwigs. (Read Mumbai mirror newspaper for details.)

10. And my list goes on...

All I wish to ask is whether there is a solution for the problems of me the common man. Or like always, do I have to assume that my precious vote got wasted? We fight for silly statements, we motivate violence in our speeches and thoughts, we damage our reputation among most of the nations because of fighting among ourselves. Today we are blaming Marathis, Biharis, UPs, Gujaratis, Rajasthanis, Tamils for snatching jobs, lands, blah blah blah. Today we are blaming each other for spreading terrorism even though the third party takes the advantage by invoking hatred amonst us. Today some of us wants Vidarbha, Telangana, Bundelkhand, etc. Tomorrow we will demand Mumbai, Kutch, Rajputana, etc. It's like cutting your mother into pieces and telling your siblings to take away the share.

Is this what we want to teach our future generations?
Is this what we want to feel glorified about?
Is this what we call as our values?

I would like people (specially those idiots getting motivated by politicians who apply divide-and-rule policy) to stop complaining about the untidy neighbourhood even though our own doorsteps are dirty. I am a pro-SRK even though he's a Muslim. I am a pro-Tendulkar even though he's a Maharashtrian, I am a pro-Ambani even though he's a Gujarati, I am a pro-Big B even though he's referred as a Bhaiyya. I am a pro-Indian.

I know most of us will just read this blog, then will feel motivated to change the system, then excuse ourselves from really working towards achieving the goal of "One India - United India", then act as if we are sleeping and then we will wake up from the slumber and say "What is this chaos all about???"

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>Guilt and Regret

>It's 4 am while my hands shakingly kiss the keys of my laptop. By the time I post it, it maybe 5 or 6 or who knows if I shall ever post it. Eyes are blurred. Body is sweating. Legs have given away their strength. And mind is nostalgic. Nostalgic... Nostalgic... Ummm... Nostalgic. Somebody please tell me why am I repeating this word 'nostalgic'. I have no answers right now. I am writing this post to kill boredom, frustration or maybe to kill the inner demon of guilt and regret that has been breeding inside me like a leech. I realised one particular thing. Most of the people fall ill due to depression. But the root of all evils i.e. depression is regret and guilt. Let me get you across various reasons that breeds regret and guilt.

1. Regret for failing in exams.
2. Regret for a broken relationship.
3. Regret for mulling over past.
4. Regret for not stand up for something or someone during testing times.
5. Regret for things happening in the surroundings.

Same applies for the reasons of guilt.

1. Guilt for wasting time rather than studying for exams.
2. Guilt for not trying to mend a broken relationship.
3. Guilt for misdeeds done in the past.
4. Guilt for acting like a coward when somebody need you the most.
5. Guilt for not taking actions against anti-social or anti-peace work in the surroundings.

All we want to do is blame either ourselves or others. But we don't want to just get over it. I mean why the 'fuck' should we be doing it, right? He'll do it. She'll do it. But nobody says I'll do it. A few days I can across an sms.

"Japanese proverb: If I can do it... You can do it.
Indian version: If I can do it... Let him do it. If no one can do it... Leave it!"

What makes me write in the middle of the night is the resentment that I have been experiencing. Sheer bitterness. Maybe for some of the above stated reasons or maybe for most of the above stated reasons. I want to tell you something. This mind is the biggest bastard that I have ever come across. Like I posted in my previous post "Rendezvous", it makes you remember those things that you wish to forget. And that's how it gives birth to guilt and regret. I wonder how beautiful life would have been if these two villains were never born! I want to share an experience right now. While being asleep I faced my created characters Roy and Aditya. Let me put them as my alter egos. Sounds funny though. Roy is full of sarcasm, stone-hearted, a loser kind of a guy and Aditya is like any irresponsible person with a who-cares attitude. Being the creator of these two characters I can spot the differences (and hopefully you too could spot after reading 'Complications Simplified' and 'The Pink Slip') in their lifestyles and attitudes. But there are two similarities between them. Guilt and Regret.

As usual, there was a tug of war between them where I was the prized possession they were waiting to claim. And the war of words acted like a rope. There have been so many arguments which I don't wish to emphasize. But at the end of the dream, it got me thinking... Is this really me? Man is the architect of his own fate. Is this what I created for myself? There's a certain amount of nostalgia breeding within us when we come across the moments of past. But do they really matter now? Why do we want to go back to those sad moments? I know most of us will read it like any other boring thesis by a pyschology lover. But think about it. I fancy a debate over this topic. Are you ready for it?

That's it for now. A small post but with a deep thinking. Ciao!

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>Rendezvous with 2009

>Ok... I am bored of writing my blogposts in the same style. How about some change? Today, I plan to have a rendezvous with the year 2009.

Meeting time: Whenever you get to read this blog.
Meeting place: Your computer screens.

Ok, so here we have a tete-a-tete with Mr. 2009.

Me: Hello 2009.

2009: Wassup man! Howz you?

Me: Happy (chuckles)

2009: Oh yeah (sarcastically)? What makes you so happy?

Me: Well.. For the simple fact that you shall be dead within a span of minutes and never come back in our lives.

2009: Huh! Big deal!

Me: That's you! Arrogance at its best!

2009: Well.. It isn't me who's actually replying you. It's you who's having a debate with your own conscience.

Me: Lol.. A case of sour grapes. Do you think I should believe you when I know that you shall get vanished of my life after a few minutes?

2009: Well.. It's upto you to decide whether you wanna be a believer or non believer. Because, like every human, you have been given a power of choice.

Me: Give me one good and valid reason to prove yourself.

2009: Ahem! You are what you are because of some of my contribution.

Me: (silent)

2009: Don't you get me? You are what you are because of the events that you imprinted on me.

Me: Hah! How the hell did I imprint something on you when I don't even have a proof of your existence?

2009:You never needed my existence. I was always with you for the whole year, inseperable from you like soul and body.

Me: I don't get you.

2009: I was with you in the form of memories. I am with you in the form of memories. And like always, I shall always be with you in the form of memories.

Me: Duh! Can't you just simplify your talks and explain me the connection between your presence and memories?

2009: Ok. How about this one? Do you remember your first day with me?

Me: You mean 1st January, 2009?

2009: Yeah!

Me: How can I forget it! You took the first step in my life and I started weaving a web of lies.

2009: Now how does that involve me in your misdeeds?

Me: Simple boss.. I had to fool my friends to avoid late night party, celebrate and welcome you. My ass was in the line of fire (like always) that day and I had to keep my face straight without others knowing that I was in a real bad mood for not being able to live on my terms. And the next morning I had a big fight with parents and the whole schedule went haywire.

2009: Can't you think of any positive stuff?

Me: Had you given me any optimistic feeling on your first day of arrival? On contrary, you scared the hell out of me, making me wonder how will I deal with you for the next 12 months.

2009: Well, I did give you one positive thing that day.

Me: (scratching head) And what was that?

2009: Your diary that you start with Dear Diary.

Me: Rofl.. How does it make you think that you shall get the honours of my hobby of writing?

2009: Simple logic. You wouldn't have written it without my existence. Ok let's make it more simple. If I hadn't walked hand in hand with you this far then how would you have recorded all your good and not-so-good memories?

Me: Huh! Good memories. I doubt if I can remember any. All I remember is the not-so-good memories which according to me are worst to be called so.

2009: Why do you always crib?

Me: Why don't you just keep your mouth shut and fuck off? I have had enough of you anyways.

2009: (laughing) That's the problem. Not only in you but in all the humans living in this world. All you people want is to take good things for granted and spill the bad experiences in my name. How can you guys be so selfish in taking away my laurels of giving you good memories? All you people do is force me to take the credit of bad memories.

Me: But that's the only thing I remember.. The bad ones. Even if I try to forget or erase those memories, I simply cannot.

2009: (laughing furiously) Human minds are the biggest hypocrites and the biggest bastards in this world. All they want to do is remember things that they wish to forget. May it be bad days, bad relationships, bad experiences or bad memories!

Me: (eyes down with embarrassment)

2009: Ok. I wish to ask you readers. Why do I take the blame for your misdeeds? Why do I take blame if something did not go according to your plan? If I gave you the power to become the architect of your own fate then why did you underuse or misuse it? All you guys wish to remember is the day you failed, the day you fought with your loved ones, the day when somebody broke your heart, the day when your closed ones bitched about you, the day when you underperformed, the day when things didn't go well. In short all you guys want to remember are the times that you crave to forget. But you don't want to remember the days when you smiled after seeing your loved ones happy, the day when a member entered your life in the form of your kids, your friends, your life partner, your soulmate. You don't even wish to remember the day when you got appreciated for your smallest of efforts, the day when somebody (who matters the most, parents, teachers, bosses) showered praises on you. You don't wish to remember the day when your favourite sports team or sportsman came back victorious just to make you beam with pride. Grow up guys! I wont be able to come back to repair your 'yesterday'. Why not welcome 2010 'today' wholeheartedly and build a better 'tomorrow'?

Ok! So the interview is over. Don't ask me how it ended. I never wrote this stuff to teach you or preach you with goofy shit teachings. I also don't want to make this sound as if you are reading some motivational book. I have written this post to thank you all for the good memories that you have gifted me through your presence in my life. I want to thank you for not I was without you but for what I am with you.



Happy New Year!

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>Back To Monday Blues!

>Hello to my readers and non-readers,

It's around midnight and I am busy cherishing the best day of my life. Honestly, I ain't getting engaged or married. I am not giving you guys any hint of shedding my bachelor's tag. Because that's the most precious thing I care about. People think the 'bachelor' tag is a sin. It's a taboo in a conservative society like ours. And you encounter loads of people whose minds run like bullet trains. "Maybe, this xyz is having an affair with someone. Maybe, this abc has some medical history. Maybe this lmn cannot consummate with anyone." Lol! Search for such kind of people and you shall get loads of gossip mongers. Anyways, that's not the topic I want to discuss about. I wish to discuss with you about this best day of my life...

Sunday. 25th October, 2009
It's not always when you get a holiday from your work, may it be a weekday or a Sunday. And it's not always when you don't plan out your schedule on a holiday. This similar stance has happened today. No waking up early, no to-do lists, no file checking, no assessments, no tasks to be fulfilled, no targets to achieve, no person to entertain... Ah! What a life! It's a fairytale. But... A twist in the story... Does a person (who's not regular in taking breaks and holidays) really like such fairytale life? Tough question. These 24 hours were the most difficult hours of my life. And that's the reason why I rate it as the best. (Because the worst of rains bring out the best of rainbows.) I had nothing planned in my mind. This particular day, I never showed way to my life. Instead, life showed me a way to myself.

Picture this:
There's never a single day in life, when a person stops planning. Planning has always been a part of a person's life. May it be a housemaker (scheduling daily chores), students (planning to achieve targets), employees (planning to fulfill tasks), employers (planning to increase their net worth) or say beggars (collect more money in particular area), policemen (solving cases) or white-collared bureaucrats (bribe... Hehehe)... Simple is the funda, working styles are different but planning is the core of it.

But today, rules get broken and suddenly you don't have anything to plan about. You just don't want to be a dam to divert the flow... All you want is to go with the flow... You don't have a boss to report to. You don't have a spouse to help with chores. You don't have files to assess. You don't have a girl friend to impress by scratching heads and finding a new place to spend cosy moments. You don't have 'roz ka khit-pit' (everyday tension). You don't have an active mind that works like a ticking time bomb even while sleeping. Wow! It's just so wonderful to live a life without worrying.

Hey, you guys must be wondering, why am I discussing all crap in this blog. To be honest, I don't have a solidproof answer for this. I really don't know the answer. All I know is that this is what I have experienced today. Tension free, care free life... What a day!

Somebody asked me, "What did you learn today?" I cheekily answered, "I learnt to live!"

So guys! Stop showing way to your life for a whole lifetime. Taking a break and letting your life show the way to yourself is always a great option. Now that's what needs to be added in a Sunday to-do list or a Sunday task manager.

You must be wondering what about tomorrow... Well, what about tomorrow? Cherish your Sundays for yourself... And then it's Back To Monday Blues!

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>In Search of Serendipity

>Hello again,
(To all those who think that reading my blog is a waste of time.)

And a special hello,
(To all those who read my blog irrespective of time.)

So... I am back again, offering you to read that is both uncommon and unheard of. But before I start writing further, I wish to dedicate this topic to one of the regular visitors of this blogpage. What's in the name? Samazdaar ke liye ishaara kaafi hai. (Wise will be able to follow the 'direction'). This topic is dedicated to one of those strangers who made me eat my words.

A couple of blogposts ago, I had posted about something called Commitment. But for certain reasons, I couldn't really believe in the luck factor. Sigh! That particular time has withered away like a delicate flower. That particular time has slipped away like sand from the fists. Alas! The time's gone. I read a beautiful saying on one of my great friend's facebook status:

"Pain is inevitable... but Suffering is optional... So the choice is for us to make."

How true!

Last few days have been pretty weird (if not comically, painful) and the reason behind it being series of incidents. As a part and parcel of life, I have seen ups and downs more on a personal side rather than a professional side of life. Sometimes, you need to suffer for others' actions. Sometimes, you need to suffer the pain unleashed on you by your close ones. But like my friend says... The suffering is optional. I have decided to keep it as an option.

My dream book called The Pink Slip was going great guns. But a mixture of curses and bad luck washed away my hard work. Instead of being sad, my state of mind is running through an emotion called Confusion. I am still unable to understand what is to be portrayed from the wide range of emotions that are present in my kitty. But... Sometimes the luck factor plays an important role in life. I had been cleaning my mailbox, when I came across the mails that I exchanged between one of the friends (who behaves more like a stranger). Hahaha. No issues, no regrets. Some of them were funny, some full of drama, etc etc. There was one particular mail that I came across. (Coincidentally or say unfortunately, this is also supposed to be the last time I talked to that person as a friend.) I found this particular poem that I dedicated to one of my closest pals.

I write this letter to Mr. Chosen One
Who has enjoyed his life full of fun
Now as he reaches another level
He has found himself a valuable pearl.

This little pearl is a princess in disguise
Child by heart but matured and wise
She's one that is found one in thousands
Clever as she is and love in abundance.

She's one little star that all pray for her to fall
She's short for others but for friends she stands tall
Lady Luck is nothing but just her another name
With she by your side you can win life's game.

I don't know what you call her but I call her ****i
With she standing by your side you can stay carefree
All I can say is "Better take care of her!"
Or else get ready to face my temper!

This little friend hands over ****i to you
Because she chooses the best and the chosen one is you
So that's it for now as I now end this letter
I wish you a life that is happier, smoother and better.

Ummm... So what's so special about the luck factor? Well... I also found a rough manuscript of The Pink Slip. I don't know what I wrote the last in The Pink Slip. I don't know where am I heading towards. But atleast I got a start... a new start. Now that's what I call as accidental benefits.

This makes me realise about one particular thing... Bhavin is always in search of serendipity!

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>Michhami Dukkadam – Confessions by a Criminal

>First of all Michhami Dukkadam to all the limited readers who enjoy to read the things that I post.

Secondly, there's one particular thing that caught my eye, since a long time. And that is a show called Sach Ka Saamna. I have heard so many people criticising the show and welcoming the concept of the show. But it deserves all kinds of accolades and flaks that it maybe receiving.

There's one particular thing that I learned from one of my friends, who's fondly known as Dada (Big Brother). "The best way to conquer and get rid of FEAR is by facing it!" There may be umpteen people suffering from umpteen different phobias. But there's one particular fear that lies within every soul. Some acknowledge this fact while others fail to accept this fact. And that FEAR is the fear of speaking truth... The fear of confessing.

Everyone has to make decisions in their lives, whether the decision is hard or easy. But the worse decision you can ever make, is regretting the decision you already made. And that decision could be hurting the person you love by not confessing. I realised that I am one of those countless people who have a fear of confessing. And today I plan to get rid of my fear by facing it, with a hope that my one step could motivate others to get rid of the fear of confessing.

Everybody has one common problem with people, may it be family, friends or peers. And that is "These people don't understand me at all." This particular sentence builds up frustration in our system and that's how the negativity enters into our souls. We act in such a way that sometimes
we ourselves regret for what we have done. "Galti kar toh di! Abhi aage kya? Usse sudhaar bhi toh nahi sakta? (I committed the mistake. So what? I cannot rectify it now.)" That's what comes to our mind after we realise our mistakes. Here's a heartbreaking piece of example:

There was a boy in his -teens. Like every teenager he wished to enjoy his life like all his friends did. Like going for dinner, watching movies, getting stylish stationary and loads of other things. One particular day, a few guests had arrived at his house and he was getting bored of them. So he asked his mother if he could go out with his friends to watch the movie. Mother denied it because it was quite late to go for a movie. But the boy never really took her words seriously. He just had anger buring from within that his parents never gave him freedom. So as his mother went to sit on a chair, he pulled it. His mother did not react anything till the guests were gone and the boy too left the house. He cried and kept on complaining about his parents. But God had great ways of punishing his children. As the boy walked, a piece of glass stuck into his foot. He bleeded profusely. He went back home and cried harder only to find out that his mother was crying. The boy mistook that she was crying for him. So the boy never paid heed to the care of his mother. Irrespective of the boy's cold attitude, his mother took good care of his foot. Next day, mother had gone to the doctor and took out the x-ray of her back. The reports were quite bad. She had broken her tail-bone. The doctor asked how did it happen and she replied that she slipped while climbing stairs. The boy's father too asked her the same question and her reply was the same. The boy realised his mistake and cried harder and harder. It was because of his crime that she had to suffer so much.

What happened about the boy? Did his mother forgive him?

Well... Mother's love is far more greater than the pain she endures. She forgave her son at that moment itself. She realised that it was a child's frustration that made her son take a drastic step. But the boy never forgave himself. He always saw himself as a criminal that day onwards. His mother forgot the incident as easy as one could have. But that incident had stuck in the boy's mind till time. He still punishes himself for it...

And that boy is ME... Bhavin.

I never had the guts to tell my Mom a small sorry. But her heart is big enough to forgive me. I feel so small and cheap in front of her. The incident happened more than a decade ago. But it has never faded from my crime list. I pray to God that whether I get punished for other crimes or not. But I would happily accept my punishment for the thing I did to her. Someday if my mother reads this post, I would like to tell her that I have conquered my FEAR of confessing. And I have confessed about my misdeed in front of the whole world. I feel light from within.

I hope this little example can help you to face the truth because.... Take advantage of the cause not the effect. The effect will leave you in desperation, however, the cause will leave you with dignity.

Last but not the least, something to say.... Greatest thing about a storm is that a rainbow always comes after it.

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>I hate this life... I feel so bogged down by the pressure over me from all the directions. Hey? What am I writing about? Ain't I suppose to write about 'commitment'? Me and my big mouth... always slips. Hahaha.

Ok... What is the first thing that comes in our minds, after reading the word 'commitment'? Maybe something related to love, marriage, life etc. Lekin... Kintu... Parantu... (synonyms of 'but'), 'Commitment' just got broader.

Definition of commitment: (Check dictionary if you want to know its meaning.)

The more I research about 'commitment', the more I get trapped in this web of 'commitment'. When I talk about 'commitment', I feel bowing down under the pressure. Wise men say, "Commitment is directly proportional to Results." It means that the more we work hard to commit, the better the results. When we study for exams, it's not about how many hours we study. It's about how committed are we towards studies, to achieve desired results. When we do our jobs to earn money, it's not about how many hours do we slog like asses to earn money. It's about how committed and focussed are we towards our jobs. When we talk about commitment towards relationships, it's not about how many years did we stay together. It's about how hard have we genuinely worked to keep the relationships alive. And this hardwork is nothing but 'commitment'.

Millions of examples exist in the world, where relationships get broken like a twig from a haystack. At the end of every turn we take while walking down the road, we come across people losing their jobs, students not achieving desired results. And all that people blame is 'luck' or 'destiny'. Give a break, guys! Let's get realistic. The bottomline is, if we haven't achieved what we want, it's because we never really committed towards our goals.

I hope this little blogpost helps us to identify our goals and the 'commitment' required towards it.

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>Blogs By Bugs First Anniversary Special


Technically speaking, my blog completes the first anniversary today. The reason being the fourth day of the Jain festival Paryushan. I can still recollect the first day, the first post of this blog ( It was excitement that had been filled in my mind. The first thought that ran across my mind was, "If published and established writers can interact through their blog then why cannot I?" But times have changed now.

Writing, for me, has always been an indispensable part of my life. It is more like a lust for me. Technically speaking, when a person reads the word 'lust', he relates it to 'craving for sex'. In the times when sex was a synonym for lust, we loathed this word because it set a wrong impression in the society. But thanks to the everchanging times, 'lust' has received a broader meaning. Some people have lust for money, some people have lust for vices. But I have an uncommon lust for learning and lust for spreading what I learn. And that's what leaders have lust for. A renowned author Robin Sharma asks, "Leaders have a LUST for learning. What have you learned today?”

It has been a year and I am just a hundred odd blogposts old. But that has nothing to do with lethargy and laziness. It has to do with the quality of posting. Nowadays, blogging does not mean, 'I took my bath... I went for shopping... I fought...' and blah blah blah. It has more to do with the usefulness of a particular topic. But who cares a damn! Empty vessels make more noise than the filled ones.

Cutting the crap, I have realised so many things have changed within this one year. My first blog post is far more different and changed then the current one. My take on religion has changed. My take on relationships has changed. My take on faith has changed. Nothing is permanent and constant except 'Change'. Times have changed, guys. Our viewpoints have changed. Our goals have changed. Our relationships had changed. In fact, the word 'change' has infiltrated our nerves to such an extent that even our loved ones have changed. This reminds me of a well known SMS that most of us must have read:

"People are made to be
And Things are made to be
The confusion in the World is
Because People are being
And Things are being

I feel pity to say that most of us have been a victim of this confusion prevailing in this world. And we have been losing our loved ones in the race to chase the materialistic pleasures. This post has nothing to do with the 'pravachans' (sermons) given by 'sadhus' and 'sadhvis'. This realisation dawns upon each and every person when he/she assesses and appraises his/her life. But there's only difference between such people. Some find it difficult to accept this as a fact, some find it a sour medicine to be gulped while the rest welcome this fact with open arms.

As I assess and appraise my life at this moment, I realise the blunders committed by me. I realise the difference between my friends and 'real' friends. I realise the working of the society with double standard policies. I realise the moments that made me cry while laughing hard and the moments that made me laugh while crying.

Life is short... People may have 'made' millions of money by fooling others. But the bottomline is, People have 'lost' millions of loved ones by fooling themselves. A word of 'sorry' seems small in size but when said to someone straight from the heart, you realise that your heart feels lighter than ever.

That's Bugs signing off for the time being. More things to read about... tomorrow onwards. Afterall, there always lies a thing called HOPE!

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>Sometimes It’s Not Worth Helping

>Early morning... Sunrays kissing your face... And you wake up happily... You get ready and are off to start a new day at work. On your way to work, you find an old man asking for help... He is so helpless that hate him or love him but you cannot ignore him... He begs you to help him... You try to ignore him and finally you relent and you help him by giving him a few tens for medicine... He showers on you loads of blessings and you heave a sigh of relief that you helped a needy person...

You leave the place and walk ahead... You remember that you had some work at the same place where you helped the old man... So you go back to that place... To your horror you find the old man enjoying alcohol and drugs... You get shattered and you feel like confronting the bastard why did he cheat you... But you realise its not worth fighting for a few tens... So you complete your work and just thinking about the blunder that you had made by helping the wrong old man... Your state of mind feels the way a victim feels after being raped... You scream at yourself... You abuse yourself... But it does not matter to you anymore because you are helpless...

At the end of the day, the bitterness in your mind, fades away and it wears off just as poison loses its effect after a long time... But the aftershocks still remain... You don't think about it anymore... All you think is the lesson that you have learnt through this experience...


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>Could he be The Last Lear?

>Last night I was extremely bored and I had to do something to freshen up my mood. I chose to watch The Last Lear. What can I say about this movie? It's completely for those who are passionate about true cinema. Amitabh's acting being outstanding, is a common term. But what surprises me is one question that goes around my mind. How often do you see Arjun Rampal giving the performance of lifetime? I had heard a lot about Ritupurna Ghosh as a director. What fancies me about him is the kind of cinema that he creates. If Raincoat was a splendid piece of work then The Last Lear definately has to be a step ahead.

This movie motivates people in some or the other way. I would be honest enough to say that Amitabh rejuvenated my passion of arts. He surely has inspired me to follow my passions religiously.

But looking at the kind of cinema being made, could this be the last film of such art film? Looking at the way other actors doing senseless commercial films, could this be Amitabh's last art film? Just like Satyajit Ray was the last king of the art film markers, just as Shakespeare was the last person to be the God of literature, known for his creations all over the world, could Amitabh be The Last Lear of Hindi Cinema?

This question certainly arises in my mind. All I wish is to see many of such thought provoking films. Thats Bugs signing off for the time being. Chao!

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