Bytes By Bhavin Random Words From The Factory Of My Thoughts!

22Dec/160

Another Audit, Another Audition

23rd December. 

Does this date ring a bell? Nah. It rings not just the bell. It rings a carillon in my mind that can cause embarrassment even to the Big Ben. This date has strange psychic powers. People look forward to their name day (as in Game of Thrones lingo) or birthdays. They would usually countdown the number of days left for their special day. Unlike me.

To be honest, I get s**t scared of this day. Maybe that's got something to do with the kind of attention I get all of a sudden. It's as if the whole world would carry me on their shoulders and then drop me down with the same speed. Or maybe it's just about my habit of self-assessment on this particular date. Or maybe it's just the fear of facing disappointment due to unfulfilled expectations. Whatever may be the reasons, the outcome is the same. This date invokes everything but joy.

So here I am, somewhere between the dark night and the first light, assessing my journey of the previous year. The clock in my room has already struck 2 and I am listless about the things to do. Many of you maybe expecting me to write another hunky dory article that can make your funny bones tickle. But I am very sorry to disappoint since that's not the point. By the time my post gets fixed, it will already be four or five or six.

Enough of rhymes, for now, it has been ages since I wrote a poetry. The last time I remember writing one was for my debut book that released during the previous year. But like they say, all good things come to an end, I guess my poetry writing skills too ended and disappeared with time and circumstances. Speaking about the last year, it has been a roller coaster ride. A year that had fifty shades of an emotional journey.

Let's focus on the good. Because that is what worth doing. I got my first royalty paycheck. I found a family in Like-minded Networking Associates. I am lucky enough to be a part of the group that does social service every month. The 11.11 moment that was stored for just someone has now turned into a legacy and has spread like a healthy infection.

Now for the bad. PS. I still end up watching PS I Love You whenever I wish to see some movie. I am still bad at numbers. My manuscripts still remain a difficult task to complete. I am still unable to break my teetotaler image. I am still learning to keep my emotions in check. I am still trying to keep up my pace with the ever changing times. At times, it's a deliberate attempt to retreat into a shell, far away from the madding crowd. Everything is still, yet moving at a faster pace.

Few things that haven't really changed are my relationships, particularly with my family and my friends. We still fight over petty issues and they still protect me from the dangers I face. And not to forget, I still manage to keep a brave smiling face over most of the issues I come across. So that's it. Here's the end of another audit (self-assessment, to be precise) and it's time to prepare for another audition of the upcoming roles stored in life. It's time to sign off. 

And yeah, Dear Self, Happy Birthday. Hope you continue on your course of learning to be inspirational, capable and ideal to become an idol.

Peace, Poetry and Power.

(PS. Like I had said earlier, it's about to be four according to IST. Adios.)

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